Funny Riddles 1

Funny Riddles Collection

How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
Only one, the last one.

What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
Your mind.

Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
A kitchen strainer.


What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.

What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
To cover cows.

What has feet and legs, and nothing else?
Stockings

What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
A candle.

What stays where it is when it goes off?
An alarm clock

You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, ’til you call me again. What am I?
An echo

There is a man standing over a dead body in a coffin, and another man walks in and asks, who’s in the coffin. The first man replies, brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man’s father is my fathers son. Who’s in the coffin?
His son

There are 2 guards. One tells the truth and one lies. There are also 2 doors. One leads to Heaven and the other leads to the devils playground. One guard is in front of each door. You can only ask the guards ONE question and you have to ask the same question to both guards. What you are trying to find out is which door leads to Heaven and which door leads to the devil’s playground.
Ask each one “What will the other one say is the door to heaven?” They should answer the same. Go in the opposite door they say.

Two boxers are in a boxing match (regular boxing, not kick boxing). The fight is scheduled for 12 rounds but ends after 6 rounds, after one boxer knocks out the other boxer. Yet no man throws a punch. How is this possible?
They were women boxing.

A farmer had seventeen sheep, all but nine died, how many did he have left?
9

A man builds a house with all 4 sides facing south. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?
Probably a white Polar Bear in the North Pole.

A skin have I, more eyes than one. I can be very nice when I am done. What am I?
A potato

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mt.Everest

Can a man legally marry his widow’s sister in the state of California?
No, he’s dead

Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
She lived in the southern hemisphere.

He has married many women, but has never been married. Who is he?
A preacher.

How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
Moses didnt make the ark, Noah did.

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Once, because after you subtract it’s not 25 anymore.

How much dirt is in a hole 4 feet deep and 2 feet wide?
There is no dirt in a hole.

I know a word of letters three, add two and fewer there will be.
Few

If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
Roosters don’t lay eggs.

If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
9

If you were in a dark room with a candle, a woodstove, a match and a gas lamp which do you light first?
The match

Funny Riddles

Extremely Funny Riddles Collection

Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother, and for your mother to stand behind you at the same time?
Yes, if you stand back to back.

In a marathon race what does the winning runner lose?
Their breath!

Why didn’t Beethoven finish the Unfinished Symphony?
The Unfinished Symphony was started by Schubert, not Beethoven!

What has holes but holds water?
A sponge

David’s father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?
David

What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath!

You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
The telephone.

You can’t keep this until you have given it.
Your word.

There is $21.00 in 1 dollar bills that has to be split evenly among the 2 fathers and 2 sons. How is this possible?
There is only really three people…a grandfather, the father, and the father’s son who each get $7.

A Man walked up to his house and he heard his wife scream ” John Don’t do it!” and the man ran inside and saw his wife, dead on the floor. Around her was a Baker, Milkman, and a Doctor. The man goes up to the Milkman and says “U did It!”. How did the man know he did it?
The baker and the doctor were both women and John the milkman was the only guy.

What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
A pink carnation.

There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it?
A Window

What question can someone ask all day long, always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?
“What time is it?”

In a certain city, 5% of all the persons in town have unlisted phone numbers. If you select 100 names at random from that city’s phone directory, how many people selected will have unlisted phone numbers?
None. If their names are in the phone directory, they do not have unlisted phone numbers!

There is a horse tied to a rope. The rope is 10 feet long. There is a bale of hay 23 feet in front of the horse. The horse is able to eat the hay, yet does not break the rope. How is that possible?
The rope isn’t tied to anything!

After a man had been blindfolded, someone hung up his hat. The man walked 100 yards, turned around, and shot a bullet through his hat. How is such a feat possible?
His hat was hung over the barrel of the rifle!

At a posh restaurant I was having dinner with a noted historian. We were discussing the relative merits of Woodrow Wilson, when my friend turned to me and said, “I’ll tell you all you need to know about the character of Woodrow Wilson. Why when he ran for president, his own mother didn’t even vote for him!”
“Is that true?”, I asked.
“Of course, it’s true,” he said. “I know whereof I speak.”
That ended the discussion. I didn’t realize until I got home that, although my friend spoke the truth, I had been tricked. How had I been mislead?
Of course Woodrow Wilson’s mother did not vote for her son. She couldn’t. Women didn’t have the right to vote before 1920.

How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?
If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and still grow your own beard.

A man fell off a 20-foot ladder and landed on the sidewalk, but he did not get hurt. Why not?
He fell off the bottom rung!

Why are 1980 pennies worth almost $20?
1,980 pennies equals $19.80, which is almost $20.

Which is correct: 18 plus 19 is 36. Or 18 plus 19 are 36?
Actually neither is correct - 18 plus 19 is 37!