A woman standin nude,looks in the bedroom mirror n says 2 her husband, "i look horrible, fat & ugly.pay me a compliment", her husband den replies "ur eyesight's spot on!"......
A boy n girl r dancin @ a Disco. dey kiss n stop instantly.d girl says 2 d boy “r u a mechanic?” d boy says“no y” d girl says“well get ya hands frm under my mini”...
chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying"i guess we answered that question"...
A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut" Mommy:"u mean its small?"Little Girl:"No its salty"...
an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl replies- oh no i think im paralised too...
Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr i've been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!
A man go for blood test.nurse took his finger blood sample but cant find cotton.So she sucks his finger! He is so happy n he asks:"Can i get a urine test also?"
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